HOMEOnline Selling Stories That Prove the Human Race Is Beautifully Unhinged5 min read

The Nose Hair Archive

The sofa looked fine in the photos. Reasonable price, normal seller, nothing unusual — except his insistence she pick it up the same day. She agreed without questioning it much.

Days later, she found a hidden zippered compartment tucked into the cushions. Inside: a USB drive. She plugged it in. Forty-seven videos. The first one made her feel gross and she closed it immediately — until she realized it was just a man filming his own nostrils from below, checking whether his nose hair was sticking out. She watched all forty-seven. Same activity, every time.

She called the seller. “Oh, I just wanted to know if my nose hair was sticking out,” he said. “You can throw it away.” Somehow, that explanation made it stranger, not better.

No Warranty, No Deal, Hard Block

Selling a secondhand washing machine is already a test of patience. Then a couple showed up and spent twenty minutes cataloguing every minor imperfection before asking — completely seriously — for a warranty.

“Get a new one from the shop if you need a warranty,” the seller said, and shut the gate behind them. Ten minutes later, a message arrived: “You don’t need to give us a warranty but delivery is on you. Deal?”

Blocked. No hesitation.